Five Things That May Surprise You

Lord knows that I have given Betty enough reasons to slap me. With a meme, that is.

So here’s the deal: I have to share five things you don’t know about me, and because I can’t just leave this concept alone, I’m going to bump it up a notch and say that the five things ought to be surprising or unexpected in some way. I’ve been pondering this for a while, because you deserve something more than a rehash of things I’ve already written…but it’s not easy. I do admit that I don’t always share everything on my blog…but those are generally pretty deep-seated and not the sort of thing you’d like to read about unless you also have a particular fondness for NASCAR because of the crashes.

So, here goes.

1) I am a pack rat. I have things packed in boxes that have been in those boxes without being moved for three years. They’d have been there longer, I’m sure, but I have only lived in this apartment for three years. I keep vowing to get rid of the stuff with a strict Six-Month Rule, but when I make a run at it, I’m overwhelmed with sentimentality. For things. I know: I need help.

2) I have an angry undercurrent that I have trouble with. I just seem to let it out, rather than waiting to vent it in some more productive way. I bark at people, and though I am not violent, apparently my size alone can be imposing enough to give the impression that I would sooner rip off someone’s head than give them the time of day. It would be too obvious to say that I am still angry at the drubbing I took in my divorce, and since then in all of my dealings with my ex-wife. I am angry as much at myself for putting up with so much shit as I am with her for giving me shit she had no right to give in the first place. As often as I’ve reacted angrily to someone (whatever the reason), there have been at least as many times when I’ve been abrupt simply because I’m tired or busy and I just don’t want to deal with anything but what’s on my mind at that moment. Most of the time when someone says to me that I’ve said or done something rude or unkind, I’m completely flummoxed, because I hadn’t been angry or tired, and I hadn’t thought I was being short at all. Whenever I realize I’ve been that way, I am much more deeply sorry than anyone ever knows.

3) I have seriously contemplated suicide twice. What saved me the first time was the realization that my ex-wife wasn't worth it. The second time, it was the thought of my father’s face if he learned I’d killed myself.

4) Ed used to be one of my favorite TV shows. At the end of the episode when Ed proposed to Carol, I wept like a baby for more than an hour.

5) I am multi-orgasmic.

These things need some continuity, so I’ve gotta tag a few of you…

Lisa
Condoleesa
Wordnerd
Erica
Binsk