Have you ever watched a film, or read a book that truly moved you? One that made your heart swell in your chest, but didn’t stop there…it made your life swell? I just watched such a film: Meet Joe Black
Granted, this film is now eight years old, so I should have seen it by now, but I hadn’t, until today.
It’s a daunting film, running just shy of three hours, with very little action…this is a film about the last days of a man’s life, a man who knows that Death could take him at any moment, and yet it lingers over tiny, exquisite details.
I had a busy week, this week, traveling for business and meeting with compatriots who mostly think of me as an oddity, a genius-cum-crackpot, a heretic. As is the community’s habit, they dismissed months of my work out of hand, without a whole lot of discussion. We’re not comfortable with this, they say, when they say anything at all. It is disconcerting to propose an elegantly simple solution to a complex problem and be met with neither disdain nor acceptance, but merely…silence.
My boss reminded me that this community is famous for doing just that, and that a good many of the current practices were once met with disapprobation. Heresy is important to progress.
After seeing a film like Meet Joe Black, I find myself taking stock of my life, wondering if I’ve done all I can, if there’s anything more I can or should be doing. Is it enough that I helped coordinate a wish for a Make-a-Wish child? It was just the once, after all. Is it enough to have served as a rape crisis advocate? Is it enough that people often rely on me when they feel they have no place else to turn?
There are times when I withdraw. I say I’ll call, and then I don’t. I forget a meeting or fail to come through with the help I offered. Is it enough to simply apologize, to admit that I’m not perfect? Isn’t there more? I always feel I can do more.
People have helped me so often, have sacrificed in large and small ways to bring me to this point that I feel that I should earn the things they’ve done for me, and I will always wonder if I’ve done enough. It is a powerful drive that comes almost entirely from the uncertainty in my center.
Perhaps that is what makes me a good man.
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6 comments:
I have had many movies that have changed my life. It's not because they were such great movies, but rather that they were great movies to me at that time in my life.
I watched Meet Joe Black several years after my father had died. During the end of the movie I just began to cry hysterically. I had to leave the room, because I didn't want to freak out my then boyfriend, now husband, too much. It broke my heart to see that movie, but it was also a good thing because at that time my heart had to be broken just a little more so that it could begin to heal and so that I could begin to deal with my father's death.
Same movie. Changed me too!
And yes, you ARE a good man! :)
I agree with Sherri and I don't know you.
In my mind, being good is doing things for others because you see the need and try to fill it. You don't have to succeed; you try. Sounds like that's what you are doing and have people there to help you.
Thanks, you guys!
Yeah -- you're doing just fine, kid.
that is an excellent movie. and part of doing good things/being a good person is accepting that others will do good things for you. and not wondering what you have to do in return. just accepting help graciously and giving help when you can. and I don't think you need to worry there!
That last sentence is the best thing I have read in a while!
I am going to have to see that movie now.
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