Had a meeting this afternoon in another building...one with a little handicapped access ramp between the sidewalk and the parking lot. Got to talking with an old buddy I hadn't seen in months, and as I headed across the parking lot, I was looking at him, and I stepped off the curb...
Or so I thought...
I actually stepped off onto the edge of the ramp.
Which threw me off balance.
...so I'm staggering with all my weight forward, headfirst into the parking lot...
...which also serves as one of two main roads between the front gate and the main parking lot...
...and I'm thinking, "Gotta get my feet back under me. Am I gonna fall? Maybe I won't, but it looks like I will. I should get my feet under me any step now..."
Nope. Didn't.
I did a non-graceful three-point splat a foot short of the traffic lane. The heels of both hands and my right knee look like road pizza. It's a macadam parking lot. Not smooth. Lots of loose gravel.
Ow.
My right pinky seems to be slightly sprained, and my knee is a bit sore.
What I don't understand is why, after years of martial arts training (okay, admittedly that was five years ago), I didn't just tuck and roll as soon as I lost my balance. What was I thinking? The tuck and roll would have looked much cooler than the masterful display of fat-guy gymnastics I actually did put on. (Hey, you had a great score until the dismount!)
Dorko here gets up, and looks around to make sure Freckles is nowhere to be seen before examining his wounds.
My new fellow cubizen, Buck, was with me. He was sympathetic, making sure I'm okay, and managing not to laugh before he's sure I'm okay. (I'm not sure I could have done him the same courtesy.) I'm fine, I tell him, dripping blood and bits of gravel from both hands.
Halfway up the hill behind our office, Buck starts chuckling.
"What's so funny?" I ask.
"You need to find a girlfriend ASAP," he says. "Can't masturbate with both hands looking like that!"
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5 comments:
Poor guy...it happens to everyone. At least there weren't any pictures or a video camera rolling!
Your horoscope for today:
You have green, scaly skin, and a soft yellow underbelly with a series of fin-like ridges running down your spine and tail. Although lizardlike in shape, you can grow anything up to thirty feet in length with huge teeth that can bite off great rocks and trees. You inhabit arid sub-tropical zones and wear spectacles.
Erica, you had it nailed until you got to the spectacles. I don't wear spectacles, I wear GLASSES! Sheesh. Astrology can be such a crock.
~Kurt
Hmmm, you either tell Buck way too much about what goes on behind closed doors or you may want to check his hand before shaking it next time.
Heh-heh. Buck and I go back many years, but our relationship isn't THAT close. He was making assumptions based on my age and relationship status.
Just to be safe, I keep a bottle of Purell handy.
~Kurt
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