Something Cardstock This Way Comes

Can you believe that it's already time to start thinking about Christmas cards?

On Sunday, Sihaya and I made a trip to Costco…always an adventure in itself…and while navigating carefully through the myriad obstacle/patrons on our way towards the rear of the store, my eye was drawn to the large, multi-aisled Christmas card section.

We did not stop. We were there on a mission.

But, the seed was planted.

Christmas cards? It's still the first half of October! It turns out that, yes, Virginia, the weeks leading up to Halloween are, in fact, the best time to be thinking about Christmas cards. (Sarcasm intended.)

In the car that evening, Sihaya and I talked about it, and she agreed that it is getting to be time. "I think they've even got snowflake stamps at the Post Office this year," she said. I'm not entirely certain, but I think one of us may have used the word "we" in the discussion, as in, "when we send out Christmas cards". There's a cool thought!

For the past several years (read that as, "oh, for about the last twenty-five years or so"), pretty much all I've done is think about it, when it came time to send Christmas cards. Rarely have I actually sent them, generally because I am so thoroughly focused on my own little world that I can't be bothered with any project that a) involves anything resembling effort, and b) indicates an awareness beyond that aforementioned weird little world. The result is that my Christmas Card List is woefully out of date, and probably needs to be put together from scratch.

When I was married, I rarely sent them because my ex-wife frowns upon humorous holiday cards, and quite frankly, I think the whole point of sending Christmas cards is to contribute to the joy of the season by giving one's friends a laugh.

I've never understood the logic behind a card that mirthlessly says "Happy Holidays". Oooh! A rosy-cheeked snowman card that says "May Your Holidays Be Warm and Bright!" Forgetting for the moment the irony of a rosy-cheeked snowman, why on Earth would a snowman ever wish anyone warmth and sunshine? I refuse to fill friends' mailboxes with suicidal snowmen.

If I'm going for the generic holiday wishes, I'd much rather send one of these:










"Hathy Holidayth!"














On the other hand, my ex-wife refused to put her name on anything that was even remotely funny, and she didn't seem to appreciate the humorous cards we received. No doubt, anything with a sharp edges and a sharp wit is hard to put where she can read it.