Small Moves

Kelly is apparently anxious to know how things went with Freckles today.  (I knew someone would be.  Thanks, Kelly!)

She also writes that taking a step forward, even a small one, is progress.  

I am fond of a book entitled One Continuous Mistake by Gail Sher.  The book is subtitled Four Noble Truths for Writers, and typical of the Zen philosophy she practices, the Four Truths are printed on the back of the book.  They are:

• Writers write


• Writing is a process


• You don’t know what your writing will be until the end of the process


• If writing is your practice, the only way to fail is to not write

She explains that the measure of the writer, the truest measure, is not how many words are on the page at the end of each day, but that the writer participated in the process of writing.  There are days when I sit and stare at the computer, a blank virtual page on the screen, and I can find nothing to say.  There was one day some years ago when I sat back, dripping sweat from the effort, and found that I’d written four thousand words.  

I think the key is patience.  As Ted Arroway says to his daughter in the movie “Contact”, “Small moves, Ellie, small moves.”

So, Freckles.  Yes.

I began my day with firm determination…today was to be the day.  

As so often happens when one is resolved to a course of action, the Universe sends little tests designed to weaken one’s resolve.  It was time for the Third Day Car Movement Ritual (you may remember that my daughter’s car had been towed after it had been parked on the street outside my home for longer than 72 hours), and getting out of the car, I dragged the leg of my khaki pants against the greasy door latch…something that never happens.  So, I headed to work with a big black smudge on my left leg.  When I got to the men’s room at work, I discovered that I was having a Bad Hair Day.  (This is not easy to do when one has so little hair.  In fact, it’s quite astonishing to have a Bad Hair Day.)  I had to wait through the weekly office meeting before I could wander off in search of Freckles.

Finally, I did indeed wander off in search of Freckles.  I headed over to the lab where she works, and discovered that they’ve installed a new security system…it used to be simple walk-in…and I could not get in.  I cruised around the usual places where I seem to see her in transit somewhere, and no luck.  

I refused to let it get me down.  At some point today, there had to be a break.  Had to.

I dealt with various issues at work.  I solved problems.  I taught people.  I gave advice where it was sought after.  I developed a scenario.  

I was not idle at all.  

And I was preoccupied the entire time.

Kelly’s comment was the last straw, and I undertook a rather desperate measure: I dropped Freckles an e-mail and asked directly: How about lunch one day this week?

It was late in the day when I sent it, and the parking lot was nearly empty, so I am sure she won’t get it until tomorrow morning.

I’ll let ya know.

Small moves.