The June gloom has settled in today.
Yesterday morning, there was some blue between the clouds as I made my way to work, but today it is all about gray. The ocean outside my window is a darker gray than the sky, like stucco before it's been painted to look warm and invitingly Mediterranean. The horizon is soft, barely perceptible.
I wish that I could say that I am centered today...collected and calm. I am not; there is a fuzzy thread of impatience running across the middle of my wait.
I have not heard from my date. I'm a veteran of many such dates in the last ten years, so I'm not taking it personally, but it rankles, nonetheless.
Fellow cubizen B interrupted my thoughts on the subject to share what he's waiting for: His wife's death certificate. It's been five months since she passed away unexpectedly in her sleep, and B has yet to learn the cause of her death.
Sort of puts what I'm waiting for into perspective. It's hard to stay impatient in the presence of that.
The more that I think about it, the more I come to realize that I should simply be grateful for the lessons I came away with last week. I miss the companionship of a steady relationship, but companionship is not what defines me. What defines me is my understanding of the world...and I gained a little ground there.
Probably gained a little ground this morning, too.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
it is amazing how sometimes without even intending to, friends can put things in perspective...
Post a Comment